Gerdie Notes - One Day At A Time

Much like the apostle Paul, I too have a ‘thorn in the flesh‘.  Except of course in my case, it’s a physical pain inducing ‘tube’.  :(  Yes, I still have it and may be having it for another two weeks or more.

I know I should have updated you, who are praying for me, about my check up last Thursday.  It’s just that I have this sensitive heart that doesn’t take not-so-good news too well.  It takes a little while before I process the facts in my mind.  I’m better now.  I can talk about it. 

Anyway, my bile flow is still obstructed.  Ultrasound showed no flow to my intestines.  The doctors suggest surgery.  My family hopes for a less invasive procedure.  What is my say?  I’ll try some alternative med for awhile.  Let’s see if such will work in opening the stricture.  I am still praying for the Lord’s will in all these.  I may end up under the table in the long run though but who knows?  I’m just waiting on God for now.

The apostle Paul did ask the Lord to remove his thorn in the flesh, three times.  Oh, I must have asked the Lord… hmmm, let see… a million? Haha.  Realistically, more than three.  Definitely! :D  And let’s see.  God answered him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” What’s God’s answer to me?  Hmmm…  Same?  ;)  Paul accepted this wholeheartedly.  Will I?  Truthfully?  I feel am treading on a long learning curve.  But yeah, I do need to follow Paul’s steps.

So how do I feel now?  Well, the tube still gives me that undeniable discomfort.  Oh!  I’ve got good news after all.  I now have an alternative sleeping position.  I can twist to my left side when my back starts to ache.  That’s a big accomplishment for me!  Thank God!

Back to how I am reacting to the Lord’s present will on this tube.  I am learning.  That’s what I can say.  Learning to take things as they come and praying for God’s hand to sustain me specially in surprising encounters. 

Well, let’s see.  I’m learning to pray AT ALL TIMES.  ;)  Not that I didn’t pray much before but this time, I seem to be throwing dart prayers to heaven every now and then.  Good way to keep in touch with God, I should say.

That’s all for now.  Tube-wise.  ;)  Meanwhile, life goes on and so must I.  God’s got a plan for me and I’ll just wait for it as I live my life one day at a time.

I’ve been trying to add some plugins to this website.  If you know of any ‘working’ and ‘nifty’ plugins, please let me know?

Thanks!

Early last night, my best friend was dressing my wound.  It took her awhile before she could remove the gauze that covered the tube.  It turned out that the pus around it was crusty, it needed an extra dose of hydrogen peroxide to get it out.  Then I realized, it’s been three weeks since my doctor attached this tube to my gall bladder.

While she was replacing the gauze, I looked at her teary eyed.  I said to myself, “It’s been three weeks and the pus is still there.  I’ve been on antibiotics for the longest time and it ends on Tuesday.  How is my body going to cope up with this tube?  I really don’t like to have it any longer but no one knows what will happen to me until Thursday when my doctor will attempt to probe into my gall bladder and bile duct.”  Shortly after thinking about that, my friend noticed my watery eyes.  I said, “You know?  I’m a little worried.  I really don’t like this tube.  I’m having a prolonged infection.  Can we pray?  I like to pray and pray and pray until God heals my insides so I don’t have to wear this drain bag.”   With compassion written all over her face, she prayed.

Today is a little bit better.  I don’t feel the pain too much and we didn’t have a hard time dressing my wound.  My heart… It’s not as heavy as last night but I sure need some form of encouragement or some tinge of hope that regardless of what I’m going through, the Lord will be with me.  Of course my intellectual being knows that.  I have always memorized Jesus words, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” But for this moment, I needed those words to trickle down to my sad heart.

So I was browsing the internet just a few minutes ago.  I chanced upon this video of Louie Giglio, a powerful Christian speaker who is being used by God in revolutionizing the college people through modern-style form of worship.  Now, I’ve heard of ‘Laminin’ from my peers at Imagine Nation Photography.  The night they saw the video, I was absent.  So I have always been curious what it was all about.  Lo and behold!  I saw it today.

Now nothing happens by chance, really.  Since I believe in the sovereignty of Christ in my life, I know that seeing this video at this time is God’s deliberate reminder that He holds me in my entirety.  This is His way of nudging my very forgetful mind that He holds me in His care and He did promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

I’m glad I saw this video.  While many would probably refute this, still, the Bible does say that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)  No matter what happens to my body, God will always be there to hold it with care.  I am deeply humbled that God took the time to stress that out to me today.

I hope this video inspires your being as much as it did mine.  God’s love is amazing.  It is indescribable.  He is just simply - AWESOME.

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Remember those Sunday afternoons when GMA7 would air Kahapon Lamang?  That’s actually where the catchphrases “Dear Kuya Eddie” and “Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie” were formed.

How about the popular ‘Lovingly Yours, Helen’ which ran from 1983-1992 and transformed to ‘Lovingly Yours’ for another four years?  Helen Vela sure did make a mark on Philippine television during those Sunday afternoons, followed by her daughter Princess Punzalan who took over the show when Ms. Vela succumbed to cancer in 1992.

Well, we now have another show that would make a mark on your Sunday schedule.  Dear Friend with hosts Jolina Magdangal and Marvin Agustin.  Pretty young for advice givers but they sure are getting a big following from televiewers of this show.  They may not also be your typical ‘Dear Abby’ yet they have their own sets of vital experiences to draw opinions and advices from.

Dear Friend is much like Kahapon Lamang or Lovingly Yours where televiewers can write about their stories.  This time though, it’s not necessarily to get advice from Jolina or Marvin but it’s more of sharing a part of their lives so people can learn from them.  Quite cool actually since dramatizations are done by most of our young actors and actresses.

I should have blogged about this five weeks ago when the show was about to start but I was confined in the hospital when the pilot episode was being produced.  Anyway, we’re on our fifth episode now and I should say, we’re doing quite well.

This week’s episode is about love and friendship.  I should say actor Marky Cielo, who stars in this episode, has come a long way in his acting skills.  With him is Lovie Poe who surprised me with her dramatic stint in one of the scenes.

Dear Friend is like fresh air for me.  I have always been associated with scoring ‘teeny bopper’ shows that I think of myself as Peter Pan’s Wendy, who together with him, refused to age.  ;)  Though I do thank the production team I’ve worked with for believing in my ‘youth’, I sure would like to try other genres of music for scoring.  Dear Friend is the answer to my long-sought challenge.  :)  Having a different story every week would surely tickle the music in my head.

So, that would be Sunday afternoons on GMA7.  If you’ve got time, do turn on your tv sets and watch what people are talking about these days.  :)  I sure hope that even just for these ninety minutes, we can be your Dear Friend.

I’ve been short-sighted these past few days.  Maybe it’s because of the pain the tube to the drainage bag brings specially at night when I lay down to sleep.  Sometimes I feel I may never get past this situation.  Depression begins to take its usual seat.

Like Simon Peter, I think I allowed myself to be disturbed by the turbulent waters, losing my focus on Jesus Christ who’s completely standing still in front of me, waiting.  Oh me of little faith.  I should know this by the now - that I need to see things from Jesus’ eyes.  The pain… It’s just debilitating at times.  It defocuses my sight.

Thank God I’ve got praying friends.  A friend from out of the blue sends me a text message asking how I’m doing.  When I answered him honestly, he reacts, “No wonder I’ve been dreaming of you lately.  Maybe the Lord is telling me to pray for you.”  Another one sends a message through Facebook telling me that she remembers me quite often these days.  She says God wants her to pray for me always and she does.  I’m encouraged by their messages.  It’s God telling me that through friends, I can draw courage.  Most of all, He reminds me that I’m in His care.

It does not end there.  The hospital bills last July are starting to appear on my credit card billings.   I’ve been praying for God to remind my clients to pay me.  ;)  And He did.  A check came in last week and a kind friend helped raise some money for my medical expenses.  Talk about how God uses people to bless other people.  I am amazed.  More music projects are coming in these days.  Maybe it’s because God knows I can’t shoot weddings as often as I did so He’s increasing the music in my life. 

And yet the pain…  Every night, as I lay myself to sleep, I feel the burning sensation right smack where the hole is.  Is there a word more excruciating than excruciating itself?  That’s how I feel when the tube is not cooperating with my body movements or should I say vice-versa.  So I pray till I fall asleep.  It’s just about the only time I can feel at ease.  Of course, that’s until my back starts to hurt after a few hours because I could only sleep in one position the entire night.

When I wake up, I find my brother’s text messages asking if I’ve had a good sleep or if I feel better each day.  God takes extra care of me, right?  Yeah, but like I said, sometimes, I lose sight.

Dang.  I miss riding my scooter.  I look at my mountain bike and I just imagine myself riding on it.  Thank God I could drive the car.  At least I can be mobile at times.  Actually, I’m really thankful I’m basically strong.  Make use of what God has given you.  In my case, I exhaust my energy.  Then I wonder… will I ever be really mobile as I used to be?  So here’s my waning faith again.

Well, today is confirmation day.  A good friend asked that I meet her before I go to Sunday service.  She  had brought me some Nestle Nutren and affirmed me that she always prays for me.  Another friend from out of the blue texts and insists that she visits me one of these days.

I am really very encouraged when people tell me that they pray for me.  The pain I feel disintegrates almost instantly.  You know why?  Because it’s a reminder that I am not alone in this.  Prayers?  Those are my energy bars.  If it were not for the prayers of friends and family, I’d probably be in depression mode 24/7.  It does say in the bible that we are to carry each other’s burdens.  In my case, people who pray for me are already taking part in carrying my load.

And so the Lord confirms my feelings through one of the Pastor’s verses for the day.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)

Today is still called Today, isn’t it?  Thank God.  :)  So to you my friends and family out there, please know that I am very thankful for all your encouragements and affirmations.  You just don’t know how much these mean to me.  Your lifting me up in God’s hands is what keeps me going.

And so I pray.  I pray that as you pray for me, the Lord will double His blessings in your life.  The blessing of His presence in your life. 

Again, my heartfelt gratitude to you…

The pain?  It’s still there…  Anesthetized by your encouragements and affirmations. 

Been going around town with this drain bag on my right attached to my gall bladder.  I might be having this tail for another two weeks.  Yeah, it’s a bit of a discomfort but it sure doesn’t prevent me from doing my work.  So long as I don’t run I’m fine. 

Thanks for praying for me.  I think most of my energy these days comes from those prayers that wish I’d be strong and healthier.  Thanks so much.  I truly appreciate it.

God bless you!

This month of July hasn’t been good health-wise. I’ve been in and out of Medical City twice. I’ve been having these episodes of severe back pain that leads to fever. Up until recently, the episodes are getting more frequent.

Last week, I turned yellow and I had to stay in the hospital for 6 days. Not quite the kind of adventure am looking for but that’s just how it’s been lately. I’ve undergone CT scan and it seems that my bile duct is a bit constricted. Either that or there is a suspicion for tumor recurrence. God forbid.

I’m waiting for Dr. Ramon Santos-Ocampo’s go signal. He is an Interventional Radiologist. His part in my health is to inject an X-Ray contrast into my gall bladder to further study the cause of my bile flow obstruction.

If you remember me, please pray for me. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors as they continue to help me find ways to better my condition. God bless you!

My diet changed. Not drastically though but yes, I’m living a healthier lifestyle. That is, a change from healthy to healthier. Hahaha!

Now, I hardly drink coffee and I refrain from drinking soda. Actually, I shouldn’t drink them. Nope, not anymore. The soda is easier to give up. Coffee? I’m down to half a cup a day. That’s if I do drink it. I’ve almost completely given it up. Alcohol? Definitely a no-no.

Let’s see, what else? Junk. Definitely gotta get that out of my system. Red meat, I’ve given that up 99% of the time. Cheese. Waaahhhh… I have to limit that. Easy on the pizza now.

All these really came after the operation. I’ve been having back pains and fever episodes related to my gall bladder. Yup, believe it or not. My gall bladder which isn’t actually functioning like one is forcing me to go on a lo-fat diet.

Coffee and soda? Well, they’re acidic and they’re giving me a heartburn. Believe it or not. I used to drink a cup of coffee a day and it didn’t affect me a bit. But now? Whoa! Drinking half a cup is like drinking two cups! Maybe because my stomach was cleaned up? Toxins gone out of my system? I really don’t know but that’s what’s been happening.

Oh… chocolate. Yes. My favorite. Cadbury’s Milk Chocolate, Kisses, Symphony, Kitkat, Flat Tops. Name it. I’m just a choco addict. And now? Well, I could only have two bites. Tinee-bitty bites! Even at that, I’m having heartburn episodes. What’s this with chocolate?

Oh, I get it. Less coffee. Less chocolate. Ergo, less caffeine? Wow! Talk about taking out toxins from the body huh.

Well, should I or shouldn’t I give it up? I’m still thinking. Very hard! I’m trying to test my limit but it seems I could only have just an itty-bitty bite. Just one. Anymore than that, I’d be taking Dolset next and I don’t want to punish myself that way.

Gosh, isn’t there another kind of food I can give up in exchange for chocolate? Like ampalaya (bittermelon)!

So let’s see… Now, where’s that Choc-Nut?

I met up with John and his mother-in-law to be, Mrs. Lingling some three weeks ago to discuss John and Ma-an’s wedding details for December. I am to be their wedding photographer.

I had a lovely conversation with John and Mrs. Lingling over a cup of coffee. We discussed the details of their photographic needs for their wedding day and the possibility of doing an outdoor prenup. I showed them samples of on-site videos and a sample wedding photo album (11×14). Mrs. Lingling, being the representative of her daughter who is in the U.S., had several questions other than photo-related ones. She needed recommendations for make-up, entourage and other wedding essentials. I was more than happy to answer her queries.

During our initial meeting, we seemed to have hit a ‘connection’ that I noticed myself calling Mrs. Lingling, ‘mommy’ by the time we were done. John and I seemed to have felt that we were to be good friends by the time he and Ma-an get married. Continue Reading »

Actor Rudy (fondly called Da Boy) Fernandez succumb to cancer today at 6:15am. He battled periampullary cancer for two years.

I wasn’t really a fan of action films so I am not aware of all his movies. Admittedly though, I was a fan of his wife (a fine actress), Lorna Tolentino, in my teens. I would watch her movies, yes.

I became interested in Rudy’s life when I was informed (right after my own surgery) that he underwent a whipple procedure. That is when I learned that people who undergo this type of surgery have a three to five-year survival rate.

When I came home from the hospital, I researched on the kind of cancer that had stricken me. Ampullary Cancer. Days after, I saw Lorna Tolentino on GMA7’s Star Talk giving an update on Rudy’s condition. At that time, they had just arrived from the U.S. after Rudy’s treatment of Rexin-G. That is when I learned that Rudy was battling against periampullary cancer, similar to mine.

I immediately researched the internet on Rudy’s life and found out that he was diagnosed of cancer in 2006. He underwent surgery and had a successful whipple procedure. Everything was well and he even starred in two GMA7 tv shows after the operation. After a year, his cancer recurred and that’s when he started seeking out other procedures that would help him prolong his life, if not to cure him. I eventually learned that his oncologist is a friend of mine from Greenhills Christian Fellowship, Dr. Malu Tiambeng. She was the one who recommended Rexin-G as a from of treatment. Though it is a new clinical discovery, Rudy underwent the  treatment. Continue Reading »