“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
- 2 Timothy 4:7
May 8, 2010 (Saturday). Gerdie had her dextrose taken and it was Nurse Sharon who inserted the IV needle on her dextrose. The dextrose served as a food supplement to obtain adequate nutrients that her frail body needed. A one litter NSS sodium chloride diluted in vitamin B, and a 500ml of Aminoloban were mixed with dextrose. Those were the primary supplements Gerdie had to take for 12 hours. By the afternoon, she had urinary difficulty so I gave her diuretic meds like Lasix and Aldactone, which were prescribed by Dr. Tiambeng. But still, she wasn’t able to urinate that her tummy and lower back became swollen due to water retention.
May 9, 2010 (Sunday). Gerdie’s swollen tummy caused her great discomfort. I immediately called Dr. Tiambeng to inform her about Gerdie’s grueling situation. The doctor told us that we can admit her in the hospital. I also suggested putting a catheter on her. So by noon, I brought Gerdie to the ER of Cardinal Santos, where her catheterization was performed. Thank God! The procedure was successful!
May 12, 2010 (Wednesday). Before leaving the hospital, I decided to flush the bile out of her body. That’s when I saw blood coming out. I told the doctor about it and she advised us to stay. Gerdie had an internal bleeding. The next day, she had undergone a blood transfusion of fresh frozen plasma; four bags were used (Thank you for all those people who donated!). After the transfusion, she was given an anti-allergy med to avoid any complications. Unfortunately, it only made her condition worse as she suffered from breathing problems. Because of that, an oxygen therapy was prescribed to her. She repeatedly said, “Parang unti-unti na kong pinapatay.” After six hours, Gerdie felt better and slept.
May 16, 2010 (Sunday). Gerdie experienced severe back pain that even her morphine and IV med didn’t help. Because of the agonizing pain, she was panting; she can’t breathe! Gerdie had another oxygen therapy and her heartbeat was monitored as well. She was sweating profusely! I didn’t know what else to do so I called Dr. Que (Dr. Henry Lu’s reliever). Sadly, her efforts didn’t help Gerdie’s condition. “I thank the Lord for the wisdom He gave to Dr. Tiambeng” (This was often said by Gerdie). If not for Dr. Tiambeng’s prescribed IV (ZOMETA 100cc), Gerdie’s pain wouldn’t be relieved. Even if it costs P19, 545 per shot, it didn’t matter as long as Gerdie would feel better. After 15 minutes, she felt well. The day after, Dr. Tiambeng apologized because of the expensive amount of IV she prescribed. But Gerdie thanked her instead. That’s when I knew her cancer had already reached her bones.
May 18, 19, and 20. For three consecutive days, Gerdie underwent a state of depression. She had a spiritual battle. She heard voices convincing her to commit euthanasia. The three of us (Aylene, Gerdie, and I) didn’t do anything, but pray. She asked me to sing, “Lord I lift your name on high” over and over again. In those days, I continued to intercede and asked help from our Christian friends to pray with me. To all Gerdie’s friends, thank you for all your prayers. If it weren’t for you, perhaps Gerdie would not have believed me. It even came to the point, where Gerdie began to doubt God’s love. Praise God! He had given me the wisdom I needed at that moment. I opened the Bible and read Philippians 4:6-9, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” God’s promise is clear; we just need to focus on Him alone. That same day, I decided to text Dan Cura. Thank God! He was available and didn’t hesitate to come. He explained to Gerdie the meaning of the said verse.
Indeed, God works in mysterious ways. Those three days were tough! I promised Gerdie not to cry, but I really can’t help it. Gerdie once told me that I am her strength. So even if it’s so hard, I had to be strong. When she was diagnosed with cancer, I promise to myself not to leave her no matter what. As her sister in Christ, I must be filled with God’s words. God is always there for me, He never left me in times of trouble. To God be the glory forever and ever! As her best friend, I had to understand her pain and sufferings. I’m a sister, a best friend, a caregiver, and a driver to her. I even made a decision on her behalf when it comes to her health concerns.
It was really a humbling experience. God had given me everything I needed: wisdom, strength, and understanding. I love Gerdie so much that I’m willing to help her in every way I could. And God had been there with us all through out.
During Gerdie’s three-day battle with depression, she didn’t sleep. At some point, I felt like giving up. I cried my heart out to God and asked him to take care of her. Also, in those three days, Gerdie didn’t want to accept visitors, even her own brother. Gerdie wanted silence that she refused to listen to Christian music as well. So I asked all my Christian friends to pray for her. Some even prayed over the phone. Thank you!
May 20, 2010 (Thursday). Gerdie hadn’t slept for days. I begged her to sleep because she needed it to regain her strength. And then she asked me, “Ano bang ibig sabihin ng tulog?” So I explained it to her. I stayed beside her until she fell asleep (Gerdie slept until Saturday).
May 23, 2010 (Sunday). Gerdie spoke to me. She said, “Terry, I want to go. Hirap na hirap na ko.” Upon hearing that, I cried uncontrollably. We prayed and I told her that I’m willing to let go and accept God’s will for her. I was still hoping that God will make a way, but what I wished for didn’t happen. However, I still praise God because I know that His plans for Gerdie were better than mine. The following day, Gerdie refused to take all her medicines and her food.
May 24, 2010 (Monday). It was Gerdie’s 44th birthday. Everybody wants to visit her; still she refused to accept visitors. So I read the greetings from her phone instead. And she nodded in appreciation.
May 26, 2010 (Wednesday). Gerdie said, “Nanghihina na ko Terry.” And I replied, “Hindi ka kasi kumakain eh.” She wondered, “Ay, diba ako kumain?” For the first time, she took two glasses of Nutren. And after that, she asked Aylene about the time. Aylene said that it was 9:30 and then Gerdie kept on asking her the same question over again. By 10:30, I prepared myself to sleep. I usually woke up at 2am, so that Aylene could rest. I told Gerdie, “Sleep na tayo ha?” And then Gerdie smiled at me. Few days had passed since the last time I saw her smile. So when she finally did, I was ecstatic!
By 11pm, Gerdie suddenly called Aylene and told her if she could reduce the length of a legal-sized bond paper. I answered her and told her that it was possible. And then I asked if she’s going to use it for faxing. It took a while for her to answer. She just told me to write the number two on the paper. At that moment, I had a hunch that she might be preparing herself to bid goodbye. But I didn’t want to think about it so I just tried to brush aside the idea. By 11:30, Aylene woke me up because Gerdie was out of breath. I was aghast! So I hurriedly gave her morphine for her to feel well. She felt a bit better, but it didn’t last so I called the nurse if she could increase Gerdie’s oxygen. I reached for her hand and then Gerdie told me, “Tara na alis na tayo.” I asked her, “San tayo punta?” She replied, “Doon sa inyo. Halika na kasi. Tara na kasi.” Aylene and I looked at each other wondering what Gerdie was thinking. I held her hand tightly and then Gerdie asked me if we needed a truck. So I asked her, “Sino bang kinakausap mo?” She replied, “Ikaw, sino pa?” After that, I began to cry and told her, “Sige na Gerdie pwede ka ng umalis, okay na ko don’t worry about me. Need mo ng magpahinga.”
I asked her if she wanted to pray. Gerdie nodded and then I let her go. Later on, Gerdie defecated with blood and her BP became lower. I told Aylene to call kuya and the family. They bid farewell to Gerdie, but we still changed her diapers three times because she also urinated with blood. By 12am, Gerdie was already on her last legs. I saw tears rolled down her eyes. Each of her relatives went on her bedside to say goodbye. Even Katrina, Gerdie’s close friend went there for her. Around 5:30 in the morning, kuya and his family went home.
While Gerdie was sleeping, I whispered to her ear and said that I love her and I will take care of myself and Aylene. I told her not to worry about us anymore. In my heart, I have peace because I know that Gerdie is already with the Lord (Gerdie died at 7: 17 am). I also thank God for he has given me an opportunity to know a great person like her. Gerdie has been good to me and I will never forget her kindness, loyalty, trust, and love.
In behalf of Gerdie and Aylene, we want to extend our deepest gratitude to all those people who helped Gerdie in every way. Thank you for supporting her financially, for encouraging her, and for loving her unconditionally. We also want to thank all the members of “Harvest,” the pastors, and all Gerdie’s classmates in Poveda. Our deepest gratitude goes to you all. This is for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. May our God Almighty bless you abundantly!
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person. Having neither to weigh words nor measure thoughts but pouring them all out like chaff and grain together-certain that a faithful hand will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” – George Eliot
I really wish it would go but unfortunately, I have to deal with it everyday. It’s because I have low albumin and have to have 6 egg whites. After my Cardinal Hospital experience, I had this one. It subsided. But this time, it didn’t. Please pray that this time it will. I really don’t know what to do. Yaya Aylene has been at it but it just won’t subside. 
And I trust the Lord that He’s got them in His care.
by gerdie
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