Gerdie Notes - One Day At A Time

I’m so glad that am back shooting weddings.   I had my first dose last October 12.  I just thank God that I was with Erron Ocampo.  I really appreciate how he looked after me knowing it was my first shoot after another operation.  Thanks Erron, from the bottom of my sole.  :)  And of course, there was Toto Villaruel who helped me with carrying the long and heavy telephoto lens.  I know he’s got a lean body but I don’t underestimate those strong shoulders of his.  :)  Thanks Toetoe.

It wasn’t a good start though.  I had to relearn the groove of shooting weddings.  The sequences, the pacing, even the camera settings.  Gosh.  I felt I was starting all over.  I actually felt frustrated with myself.  It took awhile before I could get back but thank God, I’m starting to get my bearings.

Actually, I was challenged by my mentor John Mateos Ong.  His words before we parted during Hans and Roma’s wedding stuck in my mind.  I took it to heart.  Deep in my heart.  ;)  Oh, the words?  Well, it’s just between the two of us though.  I don’t think he even remembers but I always take him seriously, that’s why.

Anyway, so it caused me to focus.  Focus on my photography because I had lost eight months.  Well yeah, I did some shoots in between but it wasn’t enough to keep me rolling.  You know what I mean. 

Then came another wedding with Jason Deg.  Another patient and cool guy to work with.  Stress-free.  Then I felt I was getting back.  The lens didn’t feel too heavy as before.  So that meant I was getting stronger.  I was just using one camera and had to change lenses from time to time but I felt good.  My feet didn’t ache much after 10 hours of standing, running and whatever-ing.  ;)  Again, thank God.  Of course, I thank Jason.  He’s really one big blessing to me.  He has always been.

And so, it’s been one month now and I feel good.  I still have to get myself shooting more to really get myself going but for what has happened during the last month, I am very grateful.  To God, most specially.  I can’t believe the strength He has equipped me with.  At times, I feel like I even never got sick at all.  Then I’d see my inverted V-scar and I’m reminded that I now live literally by God’s grace.

I am looking forward to the next few weeks, shooting.  Focus.  That’s what I need to do.  Focus in getting myself back on the groove, polishing the craft and seeing God in everything I capture.

I am praying that everything will be better from today.  For my music life, my photo life, my family, my relationship with God.  For after all, the Lord may call me home soon, I do not know.  I’d better make the most of it now while I still have time. 

I remember when I was hospitalized in March.  Because I had acute pancreatitis, I needed to rest my pancreas and the best way to do that is NOT to eat nor drink.  Not even a sip.  :(  Would you believe that?  I’ve been deprived of food for four days.  Then in all the twenty-four days in the hospital, I only had the chance to eat full meals for two days.

After my first operation, I was not allowed to eat.  I had a new digestive system and so Mr. Food had to learn where to pass this time.  I wanted to eat so bad but I couldn’t.  I had to take it easy.  So from no food intake, I moved up to liquids only then soft diet.  After four days, I was allowed to eat a full meal, as tolerated.  Unfortunately, my stomach could only take in a few teaspoons of food.  Yes, three to four teaspoons full.  Plus the intravenous Metronidazole antibiotic was giving my food this metallic taste.

I believe I had my first decent meal (Tapa Queen), two weeks after my operation.  It has been years since I’ve eaten beef.  I’ve really taken red meat out of my system but on that night, I thought I was having gourmet food!  Sumptuous tapa dipped in vinegar plus garlic rice.  You just couldn’t imagine the glow on my face after finishing that tapa meal.  I was so grateful my taste buds were back to normal and my new digestive system learned the new flow of food.

However, it was a rough road to recovery with my bile not flowing properly after a few weeks.  I couldn’t eat as much as I had wanted to.  I had to be contented with small frequent feedings.

And so, after being operated on for the second time, I told myself that I will do everything within my power to get well soon SO I CAN EAT! 

That’s exactly what I did.  The day after my operation last September 4, I forced myself to sit and move around.  My anesthesiologist advised me to take it easy.  He didn’t expect me to stand up and walk that day.  But I was stubborn.  By noontime, I got myself out of the bed and sat on the visitor’s chair.  You see, I wasn’t allowed to eat yet.  Not till I’ve farted!!!  Hahaha!  :)  That’s what I’ve been waiting for.  No fart, no eat!!!  ;)  I had to sit and move around so my recovery would be faster.  I’ve got to have that first full meal soon.

So I was good.  I made sure I followed every bit of my surgeon’s orders because I so wanted to eat!  I was looking forward to a decent meal.  So after THE magic fart, I could now have liquids.  Then I moved to soft diet then full meal.  :)  Hooray!!!  Real food!  Sumptuous meals!  No pigging out though.  I just like to savour good food.

Food is great.  Even Jesus loved to eat!  Did you know that?  His first miracle was during a wedding party.  He even prepared a great meal for his apostles after He rose from the dead. 

So for you who go on a strict diet, well, don’t deprive yourselves.  Choose to eat the right foods, eat moderately and exercise daily.   That’ll keep you healthy.

I am a member of the National Police.  My job is to SERVE and PROTECT.

Those were the words posted inside Camp Karingal, Traffic Division.  I believe this is what every Philippine National Police say to himself and most specially, to the Filipino citizens.  Well, I am sorry to say but today, I have just experienced a national police violate a Filipino citizen.  One whom he is SUPPOSED TO SERVE AND PROTECT.

I was on this street in Quezon City at around 5:20pm, where cars are parked on both sides.  You know, how cars turn streets into parking lots?  And only a small space is left to slowly squeeze a car in between?  Well, that’s how that road was.  I was heading south and a vehicle was heading towards me.  Seeing that I was closer to this narrow opening, the driver gave way by turning his wheel to the right and temporarily stopped his car.  That was my cue to head toward that small opening.  However, a few meters behind him was a police car, running fast for a small street.  The policeman behind the wheel didn’t have the police lights on.  You know, the red and blue lights flashing on top of the car as if to signal urgency.  He didn’t even flicker his headlights to signal that he needs to go first.  He just went straight toward me leaving me no choice but to turn my wheel to the right and temporarily stop the car to give him way.  Unfortunately, the space was just too small.   This policeman just had to have his way.  You know what he did? He squeezed the car and scratched my car’s left rear fender. Whoa!!!  At the time his car’s left rear fender kissed mine, I am very certain, he felt it.  Yet, HE DELIBERATELY DROVE TO SQUEEZE THE CAR THROUGH.

Seeing this was happening, I was terribly shocked.  I didn’t realize that a policeman would decide to do something like this.  I looked at the left side mirror, watching him force his way through that small space.  I immediately went down, looked at this police car, got the body number (MPD-xxx, he went so fast that it was difficult to see the plate number) and shouted that the driver get down from his car.  You know what the policeman did?  He slammed his accelerator and got away.  Whaatttdaaa???  Could you believe what he just did?

The bystanders couldn’t believe it either.  So, I drove to Camp Panopio which was just a few kilometers away.  When I got there, I reported the incident and learned that MPD stands for Manila Police District.  I was advised to head immediately to Western Police District in U.N. Avenue.  It was around 5:40pm and traffic was bad so these Quezon City policemen said to go to Camp Karingal instead.  Go straight to the traffic division and report the incident.

That’s exactly what I did.  I filed a police report against a police.  Would you believe that?

The car wasn’t wrecked nor dented.  It was scratched.  Two panels, which would probably cost twenty thousand pesos.  Well, you can say that it’s just a minor thing and  the car is insured anyway.  But it isn’t that.  Where does principle fit in?

I was mad.  Mad and shocked that a policeman who swore to uphold the laws of this country, broke one.  I mean, didn’t he say that his job is to SERVE AND PROTECT?  Or is it just lip service?  Where was protection at 5:20pm this afternoon?  I sure didn’t feel it.

Grrr… I mean, policemen are not supposed to do this.  Period.  They are not supposed to violate a citizen.  But I guess this certain policeman didn’t care.  Yes.  Those are the perfect words.  This Manila National Policeman didn’t care.  He didn’t care if you were violated.  As long as he could have his way.

So what should I do?  Tell me.

Well, tomorrow, I’m off to the Western Police District.  I’m off to report this incident.  For all its worth…

I really believe I’ve been given a second chance to live and believe me, it feels great!  :)  I cannot help but thank God for things healthy people take for granted.  Like what?  Oh, just the mere fact that one can walk, bend, eat or sleep is already a major item for praising God!  Don’t you think so?

I used to work like there was no tomorrow.  I couldn’t forget what my friend Lalaine once told me, “Gerdie!  You better rest!  Health is wealth!”  Those words stuck into my head but never understood the full meaning of it.  She wanted me to realize that all I was working for wouldn’t mean a thing if I wasn’t in tip-top shape.

Many years later, those words are still ringing in my head.  :)  Lalaine was right.  I took my health for granted.  With everything that happened this year, I feel that I just have to thank God for every bit of ‘healthy action’ I do.

I thank God I am able to eat!  I will write a blog about that one of these days.  To be able to eat is a blessing in itself.  If you don’t think so, try depriving yourself of food for days.  Just in case you didn’t know, Jesus Himself loved to eat!

I used to bike to work from Quezon City to Makati - roundtrip.  Yup!  One of the best times of my life.  I was so fit.  ;)  These days?  I’m just so thankful I can ride my stationary bike and exercise. My goal is to ride my mountain bike again.  Just to get myself to Oasis (where Imagine Nation is) at Aurora Blvd. is a big thing.  I’ll see where I can go from there. 

Amoranto Sports Complex was one of my hangout places.  I could do 45 minutes of laps in the olympic size pool.  Freestyle, backstroke, breast stroke and yeah, my favourite, the butterfly.  I would really like to try it again.  Maybe not as rigid as what I did before but just to be able to do a few laps in a half-olympic size pool would be great.

Let’s see… what else?  Oh, I like to thank God for a nice weekend in the north.  Travelling is one activity I love to do.  I feel that God has really gifted me with a present this past weekend.  He reminded me that He gave me my health back.  The gratitude in my heart couldn’t be contained.  I just wanted to praise and thank God so much.  Of course, I am not forgetting that I should take it easy.  I don’t think I want to abuse my body as before.

I have discovered the art of sleeping.  I am enjoying at least eight hours of sleep now.  And, I love it!  :D  I couldn’t believe I used to work for several days with just having four hours of sleep a day.  I really thought I was doing myself a favor. Ha!  Was I wrong!

I have learned to appreciate life after all these months.  I thought I’d be living for another thirty years but God has taught me that anytime, He can take me home.  So, this time, I am learning to prioritize that which is important.  God.  To live my life pleasing to Him and honoring Him with every bit of ‘healthy’ blessing He has given me.

Just to be able to live and enjoy what God has given me is a present from God.  To savor the presence of my family and friends is a treasure.  Of course I know I won’t live forever on this earth.  Life after physical death is far better and something to look forward to.  But for now?

I can just say that life is great and however one may look at it, GOD IS GOOD!  So, live well! 

It’s been a week now since my surgeon reopened me up to fix my gall bladder and intestines.  The day after the surgery, I was able to sit and walk a bit.  The next day, I was already on full liquid diet and on the third day, I was on full meal diet.  The only thing that really bothered me was the pain from the scar and the phlegm that sat comfortably inside my throat.  I coughed every now and then and that really hurt a lot.  I pressed my wound everytime I coughed because it was really painful. I thought my stitches would break one by one.

My friends from GCF paid me a visit and really thought they were doing me a favor by entertaining me.  They were just their usual selves, having fun with me, so much so that I had to press my wound so hard otherwise I’d end up with an open wound from laughing.  I actually felt my stomach stretching and was scared all my stitches would break in an instant!  I never thought laughing could be painful till I experienced it that night.  Moral of the story?  Don’t let happy friends visit you after surgery. 

On the 4th day, which was last monday, I went home.  :)  Yesterday, I started working at GMA7.  I am mobile but I can only do one major activity a day.  So yesterday, I prepared all my energy for a four-hour music editing work.

This morning, I did another three-hour work and went to see my surgeon for a change of dressing this afternoon.  That was the major event of my day.  My tissues are sensitive to foreign objects (even if it were just surgical threads) in my body so my skin has a tendency to develop pus.  Of course, to prevent that, my wound needs to be squeaky clean all the time.  That’s what my dear surgeon did this afternoon.  He scraped my wound underneath the outer skin and he cleaned it so well with Betadine and hydrogen peroxide.  I tried not to scream but I couldn’t help it.  I am not sure if I scared some of his patients off.  Hahaha.  But I know that you could imagine what I’ve been through today.  I could get more visual than what I’ve already described but that might make you stop reading my blog. 

Ok.  So, I felt exhausted right after.  Come to think of it, that cleaning session required a tremendous amount of strength.  I usually have a strong threshold for pain.  So when I shout in pain, that means, IT IS PAINFUL!!! ;)  But by God’s grace, I really was able to brave the entire process.  My surgeon topped his session by inserting a gauze drenched with antibiotic and Betadine inside my wound.  Yes, all 4-inch of it, believe it or not, is inside me right now.  That my friends was the dessert.  All these without any topical anesthesia.  It’s a good thing I took Ponstan SF and Dolcet before seeing him.  It would have been triply painful if I didn’t.

I really thank God for the strength He has been giving me.  Strength to recover.  Strength to get up and be mobile. Strength to work.  Strength to withstand pain so as to heal better.

Now I am really looking forward to full recovery and healing.  My bile is flowing well.  :)  Thank God!  No more drain bag.  And!  My surgeon took a second look at my insides and he said that I have no signs of tumor recurrence.  Praise God!!!

My brother’s first advice to me was to make sure I don’t abuse my body because I am still within the five-year remission period and I have to have my regular check ups.  Agree.  :)  Thank God my insides are doing well.  I am so grateful to the good Lord for this.  I really felt so well right after my surgery last Thursday. 

My family and friends, thank you for praying for me.  I am really very blessed to have you praying for me because deep inside, I know, it’s what keeps me going.  The Lord always remembers me because of you and your prayers.  So, again, thank you so much.  May the good Lord repay you a hundredfold for your thoughts, care and prayers for me.

Blessings!!!

It’s official.  It’s scheduled.  I am pushing through with my second surgery.  A short one compared to the last time and I am looking very forward to recuperating faster.

I am hoping that after this surgery everything will be much better.  I really wish there won’t be any further complications.  I am praying my heart out to God that the days will be brighter and I can function just like I used to.

So please pray for me?  Pray for a successful operation and no complications after this.  Please pray for my continued healing.

This Thursday at Medical City.

Thank you.

Much like the apostle Paul, I too have a ‘thorn in the flesh‘.  Except of course in my case, it’s a physical pain inducing ‘tube’.  :(  Yes, I still have it and may be having it for another two weeks or more.

I know I should have updated you, who are praying for me, about my check up last Thursday.  It’s just that I have this sensitive heart that doesn’t take not-so-good news too well.  It takes a little while before I process the facts in my mind.  I’m better now.  I can talk about it. 

Anyway, my bile flow is still obstructed.  Ultrasound showed no flow to my intestines.  The doctors suggest surgery.  My family hopes for a less invasive procedure.  What is my say?  I’ll try some alternative med for awhile.  Let’s see if such will work in opening the stricture.  I am still praying for the Lord’s will in all these.  I may end up under the table in the long run though but who knows?  I’m just waiting on God for now.

The apostle Paul did ask the Lord to remove his thorn in the flesh, three times.  Oh, I must have asked the Lord… hmmm, let see… a million? Haha.  Realistically, more than three.  Definitely! :D  And let’s see.  God answered him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” What’s God’s answer to me?  Hmmm…  Same?  ;)  Paul accepted this wholeheartedly.  Will I?  Truthfully?  I feel am treading on a long learning curve.  But yeah, I do need to follow Paul’s steps.

So how do I feel now?  Well, the tube still gives me that undeniable discomfort.  Oh!  I’ve got good news after all.  I now have an alternative sleeping position.  I can twist to my left side when my back starts to ache.  That’s a big accomplishment for me!  Thank God!

Back to how I am reacting to the Lord’s present will on this tube.  I am learning.  That’s what I can say.  Learning to take things as they come and praying for God’s hand to sustain me specially in surprising encounters. 

Well, let’s see.  I’m learning to pray AT ALL TIMES.  ;)  Not that I didn’t pray much before but this time, I seem to be throwing dart prayers to heaven every now and then.  Good way to keep in touch with God, I should say.

That’s all for now.  Tube-wise.  ;)  Meanwhile, life goes on and so must I.  God’s got a plan for me and I’ll just wait for it as I live my life one day at a time.

I’ve been trying to add some plugins to this website.  If you know of any ‘working’ and ‘nifty’ plugins, please let me know?

Thanks!

Early last night, my best friend was dressing my wound.  It took her awhile before she could remove the gauze that covered the tube.  It turned out that the pus around it was crusty, it needed an extra dose of hydrogen peroxide to get it out.  Then I realized, it’s been three weeks since my doctor attached this tube to my gall bladder.

While she was replacing the gauze, I looked at her teary eyed.  I said to myself, “It’s been three weeks and the pus is still there.  I’ve been on antibiotics for the longest time and it ends on Tuesday.  How is my body going to cope up with this tube?  I really don’t like to have it any longer but no one knows what will happen to me until Thursday when my doctor will attempt to probe into my gall bladder and bile duct.”  Shortly after thinking about that, my friend noticed my watery eyes.  I said, “You know?  I’m a little worried.  I really don’t like this tube.  I’m having a prolonged infection.  Can we pray?  I like to pray and pray and pray until God heals my insides so I don’t have to wear this drain bag.”   With compassion written all over her face, she prayed.

Today is a little bit better.  I don’t feel the pain too much and we didn’t have a hard time dressing my wound.  My heart… It’s not as heavy as last night but I sure need some form of encouragement or some tinge of hope that regardless of what I’m going through, the Lord will be with me.  Of course my intellectual being knows that.  I have always memorized Jesus words, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” But for this moment, I needed those words to trickle down to my sad heart.

So I was browsing the internet just a few minutes ago.  I chanced upon this video of Louie Giglio, a powerful Christian speaker who is being used by God in revolutionizing the college people through modern-style form of worship.  Now, I’ve heard of ‘Laminin’ from my peers at Imagine Nation Photography.  The night they saw the video, I was absent.  So I have always been curious what it was all about.  Lo and behold!  I saw it today.

Now nothing happens by chance, really.  Since I believe in the sovereignty of Christ in my life, I know that seeing this video at this time is God’s deliberate reminder that He holds me in my entirety.  This is His way of nudging my very forgetful mind that He holds me in His care and He did promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

I’m glad I saw this video.  While many would probably refute this, still, the Bible does say that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)  No matter what happens to my body, God will always be there to hold it with care.  I am deeply humbled that God took the time to stress that out to me today.

I hope this video inspires your being as much as it did mine.  God’s love is amazing.  It is indescribable.  He is just simply - AWESOME.

——–

Remember those Sunday afternoons when GMA7 would air Kahapon Lamang?  That’s actually where the catchphrases “Dear Kuya Eddie” and “Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie” were formed.

How about the popular ‘Lovingly Yours, Helen’ which ran from 1983-1992 and transformed to ‘Lovingly Yours’ for another four years?  Helen Vela sure did make a mark on Philippine television during those Sunday afternoons, followed by her daughter Princess Punzalan who took over the show when Ms. Vela succumbed to cancer in 1992.

Well, we now have another show that would make a mark on your Sunday schedule.  Dear Friend with hosts Jolina Magdangal and Marvin Agustin.  Pretty young for advice givers but they sure are getting a big following from televiewers of this show.  They may not also be your typical ‘Dear Abby’ yet they have their own sets of vital experiences to draw opinions and advices from.

Dear Friend is much like Kahapon Lamang or Lovingly Yours where televiewers can write about their stories.  This time though, it’s not necessarily to get advice from Jolina or Marvin but it’s more of sharing a part of their lives so people can learn from them.  Quite cool actually since dramatizations are done by most of our young actors and actresses.

I should have blogged about this five weeks ago when the show was about to start but I was confined in the hospital when the pilot episode was being produced.  Anyway, we’re on our fifth episode now and I should say, we’re doing quite well.

This week’s episode is about love and friendship.  I should say actor Marky Cielo, who stars in this episode, has come a long way in his acting skills.  With him is Lovie Poe who surprised me with her dramatic stint in one of the scenes.

Dear Friend is like fresh air for me.  I have always been associated with scoring ‘teeny bopper’ shows that I think of myself as Peter Pan’s Wendy, who together with him, refused to age.  ;)  Though I do thank the production team I’ve worked with for believing in my ‘youth’, I sure would like to try other genres of music for scoring.  Dear Friend is the answer to my long-sought challenge.  :)  Having a different story every week would surely tickle the music in my head.

So, that would be Sunday afternoons on GMA7.  If you’ve got time, do turn on your tv sets and watch what people are talking about these days.  :)  I sure hope that even just for these ninety minutes, we can be your Dear Friend.